Pre-Dawn Thoughts

Cobie ready for his run
He scouts the area for possible targets

The sun has not yet shown his face.  With hands folded on my chest, I am lying here in the cool darkness of morning.  Thoughts run through my mind and I wonder what it is that I would be doing if I could do anything that I wanted.  I think about other people; the famous ones who have thousands of photo flashes illuminating their faces.  Are they happy?  What do they do when they are not on exhibit before the masses?  If camera flashes are a measure of one’s existence, then it appears to be a very hollow existence. 

But the question again returns: with what would I like to fill my life?  This is what I have been pondering of late and it seems that I have narrowed it down to two general categories.  One is in the area of play; the freedom to be able and to have the means and time to do whatever I want, when I want to do it.  But how do you define play?  I think I just did, at least for me: “freedom to be able and to have the means and time to do whatever I want, when I want to do it”. 

But wouldn’t this be likened to just killing time?  If there is no purpose connected to the act of playing, what good does it do?  Yes there must also be a purpose thrown into this mix. This brings me to the second general category of what I would like to fill my life with: helping others.  Helping others makes me feel useful.  It brings me pleasure when others around me are happy and smiling. 

There are many ways to help others.  You can help financially, physically lending a hand with some chore or even just a smile or an encouraging word.  Producing goods that people can purchase to save them time or to bring them enjoyment is also a way of helping.  As I see it, the problem for me is to find a way to play that also helps others in some way.  Whatever I endeavor to do must be financially sustainable.  I need to make enough money playing, so that I can help others.  This in turn, supplies the motivation and desire to play some more. 

For me, just sipping a pina colada on the beach under an umbrella doesn’t make it.  The journey on the way to the beach that tired me out in the first place is what makes the umbrella and the drink so satisfying.  Without the sweat of achievement, the reward is empty.  Like ying complements yang, so does effort complement reward.  

Now that I’ve pretty much laid out the objective, it’s time to devise a plan.  I must formulate a way to make play profitable.  But how can I do it?  Answering this question will take me to the next plateau in my journey.  

Presently there are two areas that I enjoy working in (ouch did I say work). Not including eating breakfast, one is writing and the other painting or drawing.  My immediate goal is to write and paint or draw every day until they become second nature to me; until they become as natural as, dare I say it, eating breakfast.  This goal might be realized or it may lead to new and different goals.  And this is all right.  It doesn’t matter how I get down the road to the beach.  With the proper amount of sweat and effort, that umbrella and pina colada will be mighty refreshing.